How To: 'Werk' Your Love Life

You might’ve heard the quote “The right person comes at the right time.”

What a load of bologna!

Most of us work like dogs, 12 hours days, or breaking our backs in grad school. The list of reasons why dating is impossible goes on. But what happens when out of nowhere — perhaps while at the grocery store, in a restaurant or at a friend’s party — you meet a person who seems to be all of what you’ve ever been looking for?

The thing is, you’re really focused on your work right now. It’s the kind of situation that happens quite a bit, but isn’t written about nearly as much as it should be.

If your heart is currently more into your work, but you don’t want to lose the awesome individual who has recently come into your life:

Here are some suggestions for how to be just as ambitious personally as you are professionally.

Get on a schedule. Say that you’re someone who’s trying to get your own company off of the ground. If that’s the case, then you already know that you can easily work 15+ hour days. That can make eating and sleeping, let alone dating, very hard to do. Something that you can do to balance things out is to get on a schedule. Give yourself at least one day when you’re not focused on work and then set aside a couple of hours to go to a restaurant or check out a movie with the person you’re seeing. Honestly, this is something that you should do whether you’re seeing someone or not. Rest and leisure are good for your overall health and well-being. No one needs to literally kill themselves with ambition.

Be open and honest. If you know that you have the tendency to be a bit of a workaholic, it’s important that you get that out and in the open on the front end. Maybe not the first date but definitely by the third. Otherwise, if the person you’re seeing keeps trying to make plans and you’re constantly having to cancel or reschedule, it will send the message that you’re not interested, when the reality is that you simply have a lot on your plate.

Don’t break dates. Ambition can be pretty attractive during the beginning stages of a relationship. But when it makes someone feel as if they are no longer a priority in your life, then it can start to take a real toll. You don’t want to come across as being the kind of person who doesn’t say what they mean and mean what they say. So, even if you can only go on a date a couple of times per month, do everything within your power to keep the ones that you do make. It will send the message that although you do have a lot going on, the person you’re seeing is not getting lost in the shuffle. It will convey that they matter to you too.

Plan special dates. Here’s something that you can definitely do to send the message that you’re invested in your relationship even while you are invested in your work: plan special dates. To go to dinner and a movie, that doesn’t require a whole lot of pre-planning. But to go to an outdoor concert, a picnic or to take a day trip to a city close-by — that requires a bit more effort. And when you call to say “Hey, I have a surprise for you this weekend, are you game?” and they see that it consists of doing something that is a bit outside of the box, they’ll know that they’re on your mind. Even when you can’t always see each other.

Keep the future in mind. When it comes to your professional goals, you don’t plan on being in the place next year as you are now, right? So why wouldn’t you also want to make plans for your relationship? By letting the person you’re seeing know that you want things to grow into something more, they will be able to take comfort in the fact that although you are super ambitious as it relates to your professional life, in many ways, the same thing can be said about your personal one too!

Werk it like you mean it when you meet someone you want to werk for,

Dan