How To: Christmas With A New Boo

This is obviously me, as the Santa Claus of dating, saving the day in your new relationship.

There used to be a time when, if a single person felt as if it looked like they were going to be single for the holidays (and they didn’t want to be), all they had to do was rely on a set-up from a family member or friend (and sometimes, that can do more harm than good!). These days, thanks to the progression of technology, there are other options such as online dating or even investing in a professional matchmaker to help you out.

But whether you’re thinking about going on your first date during the holidays or you’re in a fairly new dating situation and you’re wondering how to go about it from now until New Year’s, you’ve come to the right place. The holiday season is a special, sentimental and super romantic time (June loves me for writing this). But when you’re just starting to date someone, it’s OK to have certain boundaries — both emotionally as well as financially. That said, here are five tips for how to newly date, successfully so, during this truly magical time of year.

If it’s a first date, avoid family functions. There are probably going to be all sorts of things that you are going to be invited to, whether it’s at your job or via your family. If you’re thinking about asking someone on a first date, no matter how “cool” it might seem to bring them along, we encourage you to avoid that at all costs. A first date is simply a time for you and another individual to get more acquainted with each other. It doesn’t not guarantee an instantaneous love connection, though. You don’t want to bring someone along, have everyone fall in love with them, only for it not to work out---and you have to hear about how awesome the individual was for weeks to come. In short, opt for other plans. Ones that do not include those who are closest to you.

Try and not make a date on a holiday. Hey, we’re not trying to be Scrooge or the Grinch or anything. We just know that a lot of emotions tend to go into the holiday season, so going on a date on Christmas Eve or even New Year’s Eve can be…a lot on the heartstrings if it’s a first, second or third date. To avoid any misconceptions, try to set the first few dates for days that fall around the holidays rather than on them. Trust us, you’ll be glad (perhaps even relieved) in the long run if you do.

Get “tokens”, not gifts. Unless you’ve been seeing each other, consistently, for more than three months, don’t put the pressure on either one of you to get a gift. For one thing, until you’re absolutely sure about how you feel towards one another, the right gift could send the wrong impression. Secondly, if you’re already on a tight budget when it comes to getting a plane ticket to fly home and picking up presents for your family, it doesn’t make sense to spend more than you have on a person you’re just getting to know (romantically). So, talk to them about skipping gift exchanges altogether or give each other a gag gift or a small token with a strict price limit. That way, no one will be disappointed due to let down expectations. Plus, if all goes well, it can build up anticipation for the next holiday season.

Shoot for Valentine’s Day. So, what if everything is going well and while it’s all still new, you do see a future for you and the person you’re with? That’s awesome! It really is. And the good news is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s (with all of the “Eves” interwoven in between) are not the only holidays on the calendar. Waiting for Valentine’s Day to take things public with your family, spend more money, plan a trip or even let the social media world know that you are together is wise on a few levels. For one thing, having more time on your side to get to know one another can never hurt. Secondly, the holiday season has a reputation for being quite euphoric. By allowing the high energies settle a bit, you can let the six weeks or so between New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day help you to see the reality of your relationship. If you feel as strongly in mid-January as you did over Christmas, then use February 14 as the perfect moment to commemorate that fact. Look at it this way, it will give you and your “potential yours” something to look forward to!

You’ve got this,

Dan